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Blimey, if it isn’t the bean and toast eating bastard himself! How’s it going man? You enjoying not having to worry about dental hygiene anymore? Find a nice snaggle-tooth Manchester bird to settle down with on cold nights?

No, it’s fine. I’m on a train. On my way to the Congressman’s funeral.

Are you serious? You haven’t heard? My God, the BBC has its head so far up its ass selling you people socialist propaganda. It’s been all over the news here. The Congressman, as in my Congressman, the guy I worked for the last four years. He got shot. He got shot in a fucking duel.

No, I’m totally serious. A fucking duel. Like pistolas. High noon on a dusty road.

Yeah, one might say he lost.

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